Behold! For I, Supreme Monarch of the Universe, President of the Internet, and Benign Despot declare that henceforth Paulina kitty shall be known as Paulina, Defender of the Realm for vanquishing from our banquet table and eviscerating that scourge of humanity- Butternut the Bloodthirsty! Never again will we be besieged by his yeasty evilness, threatened by his soft lack of fiber or receive any of his $2 off coupons to Great America.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
Lo! For I, Empress of Space, President of the Internet and Prime Minister of Dark Matter make my final Royal Proclamation. It's the last one because I have only 3 kittens but mostly because I'm getting a little sick of Royal Proclamations. Henceforth, Aurora kitten shall retain the title of Princess Aurora, Protectoress of the Empire! On this day, Princess Aurora has stalked and ambushed her prey, the alpha of a herd of wild and savage 𝑓𝑢𝑐ℎ𝑠𝑖𝑎 𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 (also known by it's scientific classification, 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠 𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑎). After bushwhacking her target from its blind spot with an agile pounce, she dragged her hapless quarry up a cat tree and across the Amazon box to present her lifeless trophy with a mighty meow. The ferocious, the untamed, Princess Aurora Kitten.
Read more

25th anniversary

Image
Twenty-five years ago today I walked down the aisle wearing a voluminous dress and got married. And for those 25 years I've been grateful for the enduring, blissful relationship I've had with....my Oster Regency Stand Mixer. I received "Reg" as a wedding gift, and he stayed for the whole reception (unlike the groom who didn't make it past dinner because he was so hung over from the night before. But I'm not bitter). My marriage with the the guy was an unmitigated disaster. We were lucky we made it off the alter before filing for divorce. But I have relied on Reg at least once per week since then. Oh sure we had our rough times. Like when Reg beat my red velvet cake batter too quickly and splattered the batter over 3 walls, making my kitchen look like a crime scene. And the way Reg blows his lid when I make an 8 cup recipe of challah. But that's when you need to concentrate on all the good things you made together, like the baby food we pureed for Zoe with ...
Read more

Chicago Dogs and Dirty Harry

Image
I'm going to Chicago soon and I want to eat something I haven't had in a very long time.... a Chicago Red Hot and drag it through the garden. The topic of ketchup on a red hot has been debated. Here is my take. The Declaration of Independence outlines 3 unalienable rights; Life, Liberty and the Persuit of Happiness. So I believe as an American and a Chicagoian that it is your right to use ketchup to desecrate your hot dog and disgrace your family for generations to come. But now Chicago's Dog House has come up with a new menu item I must try. The Blagojevich Hot Dog. It's a Chicago Style Red Hot but with ketchup. It comes with a side of Fedral Prison.
Read more